For the most part, the Las Vegas was a success. Surrounded by my friends, I allowed myself to wind down from the stresses of life. There is no better medicine than good company. I surely know that everyone has had their own mix of troubles, and sin city was their big break from reality. Sadly, a lot of reality visited me at the Planet Hollywood suite, but I won’t dwell deeply on those thoughts because they’re useless and tedious to analyze. There was no collapsing, but there were a few serious withdrawals I encountered after seeing those two hold each other. She is not how I remember her, and for this, I’m a little thankful. I can’t miss someone I don’t know. She’s a vile that carries memories, so when I see her, I look through her, and I simply remember.
On our way home, I talked to Jon about Janell as he traded with me his experiences with Shenna. His feelings were very much subdued and unaffected by her presence while mine were a mixture of bitterness and regret. I could feel Angie’s eyes roll, two rows behind me while I drove, but I haven’t talked about her in so long, and Vegas is supposed to be a break. So I took a break from silence.
While everyone was asleep, Jewelyn texted me. It was lengthy in respects to normal text messages, and it read:
“I can tell you’ll be one of those friends who won’t just be part of our college years, but the rest of our lives. Not just paying for us, but always showing us that our friendship means more. By paying, you’re not only giving up money, but the time you spent to earn it… and time is what life is made of. So thank you for sharing a part of your life with us! Just want to let you know you’re greatly appreciated. This weekend may have been hard on you, but hope you had fun with us nonetheless!”
I’m a very sensitive character, of which I wish i wasn’t, but putting that aside, I sniffled a little because I swore I hid my pain well enough to pass for boring. I didn’t want anyone to feel sympathy for me, nor did I want to ruin anyone’s time. Strangely enough, TK, Jewelyn, Jon, and Fredo would constantly check on me, and though at the time I wasn’t keen to their nobility and loyalty as friends, they saw right through my mask. They picked up the bits of shattered pieces I failed to recognize, missing from shards I hid in my pocket. This is only a simple thank you.
I wish I could’ve breathed a little more in Vegas. The most refreshed I was was when we were all in Jon’s pathfinder, drunk. Jon, Jan, Fredo, Paul, me, TK, Angie, Jew, and Nelson. It was my favorite part of the trip, and it was my favorite part of the whole of this year because I was happy. I can’t say that a lot.
I think that’s another reason why I study so hard, why I work so much, and why I put myself in tough spots, so I can work through myself, grow and be successful. Because I want to be able to give these people the world.
Anyway, I saw three shooting stars this weekend. How I did amidst the glow of the Vegas lights, I don’t know, but I spent them on Janell. They had nothing to do with me however. Goodnight.
